


i’ll remember, you said

by walk_away



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish is Bad at Feelings, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, the boys are bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26170768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walk_away/pseuds/walk_away
Summary: there’s something about being alone with your thoughts in the middle of the night, even if you’re not physically alone.adam is not new to being alone, but he is new to sharing what’s going on in his one-hundred mile an hour moving brain.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Kudos: 29





	i’ll remember, you said

Adam knew that 3AM thoughts hit harder than daylight thoughts. With Ronan across the room cleaning up Adam’s mess that he forgot to clean up before leaving that morning, Adam knew he wasn’t alone physically, but mentally he was lonelier than ever. 

Getting annoyed with the things going through his brain, Adam took out a piece of paper and starting writing everything down.

In his messy handwriting, Adam managed a halfway decent list.

_1\. what if ronan doesn’t want me anymore once i go off to harvard?_

_2\. when ronan decides i’m not worth it, will he forget me?_

_3\. ronan is an exceptionally loud cleaner_

_4\. the stupid phone won’t stop ringing. for once in his life would ronan answer the phone?_

_5\. when i finish school, is my something more just over?_

_6\. do i even get a something more?_

Adam was starting to get upset. The list went on.

_7\. i’m unknowable, and if you don’t know me, you can’t love me_

_8\. whoever’s singing that stupid murder squash song has it coming_

_9\. i wasn’t meant to be this way. i was supposed to be in another universe where i’m 100% straight and i’m still in that trailer, but getting to leave soon. or maybe i’d be dead._

_10\. why does ronan even stay for me? he’d be better off without me._

_11\. if i’m trapped in the wrong person, does that make this world even real?_

”Shut up!” Adam finally screamed. He slammed his hands on the table and stood up, the chair tipping over and falling to the ground. He spun around, tripping over his own feet as he did. “Take me out! Get me away from here!” he yelled. Someone put their hand on Adam’s shoulder. Adam pulled away getting more overwhelmed by the minute. “Get me out! Why me?” Adam walked backwards into the bed accidentally.

From behind someone pulled Adam onto the bed, and restrained him from blindly throwing his hands at the person. Adam had closed his eyes on impact, but opened them now.

Ronan was staring down at him, looking concerned. 

_Ronan._

”Adam,” Ronan started. He still looked a little unsure. “Do you even know who I am?” Ronan asked. Adam thought his heart broke at the tone of Ronan’s voice that implied Ronan was both scared and very upset.

”How could I forget?” Adam responded, knowing this is exactly what Ronan needed to hear. 

Ronan didn’t say anything as he walked around the bed so he could face Adam.

”Don’t forget me once you realize you’re too good for me,” Adam said. 

“Adam, I’m not going anywhere,” Ronan responded. 

“Are you sure?” Adam asked, still uncertain.

”Are you in-fucking-sane? If anyone’s going anywhere, it’s going to be you.” Ronan said exasperated.

”I’m not going anywhere,” Adam said.

“What even got you so upset?” Ronan asked, his voice softer now. Adam just pointed at the desk in the corner of the room. Ronan walked over, picked up the sheet, tore it up, and walked back to Adam to hug him. 

“Adam, you’re beautiful, and worth everything, and even if things don’t work out between us, I will never forget you,” Ronan said after a few moments. Adam had no answer to this. “I’ll never let you leave,” Ronan said.

This at least got a smile from Adam, and eventually both boys started laughing. They fell back, and Ronan grabbed Adam’s hand. They laid there together, looking at the ceiling, just being together. 

Adam knew that it was gonna be okay. This was part of his something more.

**Author's Note:**

> I PROMISE THIS IS NOT ME ABANDONING MY OTHER FIC!!! i just had this idea stuck in my head and needed to get it out so i could move on with my other story.
> 
> i felt this chapter pretty hard. i can relate to feeling like you’re trapped, you’re in the wrong universe, and just being overall not enough. i’m okay now btw but this chapter seems to reflect what my mental breakdowns look like.
> 
> all kudos and comments are appreciated!! idk if you guys know how much it makes my day when someone interacts with my story!
> 
> someone please comment i’m lonely


End file.
